You know the old boys code; whatever happens on the road, stays on the road. Well throw that out the window when you travel with Marty Chow... sometimes the goldmine of moments provided by the situations he gets into simply triumps over any such antiquated "guidelines". Its no contest. What Marty brings to the table is too precious, and it would be a waste not to mention at least somethings, especially if you get precious dime quotes such as:
Marty (drunk in Lisbon): "I know youre going to blog this, snap!, which is so so gay, but whatever, here it is: When you go up to a group of girls mixed with guy friends, always go for the ugliest one. Thats the rule, cuz shes has the biggest probability of not having a boyfriend, you know...so theres the smallest chance of getting beat up."
Thats so awesome... comeon, like it would be bad form not to share this stuff. It would be an insult toward journalistic integrity. And its the intangibles that Marty brought that helped make the trip so awesome. Every night going out, it was Marty doing his thing, laying on his "sweet and sour" game, and myself and eric staying in the background, giggling like girls, and taking blackmail pictures of Marty in action. Good times, good times.
And Marty has the worst beer googles. If you want to simulate for yourself, put on a pair of dark sunglasses, and then smear butter over the lens. That has got to be the level of vision. Frankly, I dont even know why he bothers putting in his contacts... he cant see either way. Feel free to check out Martys blog though, sweetchowofmine.blogspot.com, to get his version of events. Some of the details of our trip is already there so please do check it out... he felt that by beating me to the punch I couldnt make fun of him as much... LOL... touche... I wont repeat anyting that he has already mentioned in his blog, but just know that she was definitely a sub par 5. I have the pictures.
The trip itself was so unbelievably sweet, but sounds like an itinery out of the Amazing Race. 2 nights in Dublin, 1 night in Galway (Westcoast Ireland), 1 night Derry/Londonderry (Northern Ireland), 1 night Belfast, 1 night at my place, 1 night in Faro, Portugal, 1 night in Lagos, Portugal, 3 Nights in Lisbon, 1 overnight train from Lisbon to Madrid, 3 Nights in Madrid, 2 Nights in Barcelona, and 1 overnight train from Barcelona to Nice, 1 night in Nice. Yeah I know, thats why I slept all this weekend, so exhausted, it took me till now, Sunday, to post something. But still, nothing better, I wouldnt take anything away. Staying in one place for two weeks is for chumps, or families.
Ill be posting pictures over the next few days for more chronilogical detail, and post comments along the way.
Moving on, Post Trip Tallys
Shoe purchasing contest:
1st: Marty. 3.5 Shoes. (Green Asics, Campers, Campers, Havaiana Flipflops = .5)
2nd: Eric. 3 Shoes. (Brown Koudenbergs, Skinny Campers, Asics Cleat boots)
3rd: Me. 1 Shoe. (Two tone khaki Campers)
I am so ashamed. I got throttled in this competition HUGE time. And this was my arena too, my hometurf, my homecourt advantage. And surprisingly, Eric, who is well known on our Seattle shopping trips for cheaping out and only buying stupid socks, was leading this contest for a while. That is until marty got motivated and edged out in front with final purchases at Campers Madrid. Its kinda wierd cuz Eric leading myself and Marty in a shoe buying competition is like Oprah pulling out in front of Ben Johnson and Carl Lewis in the 100 yard dash. Its like what the?
Falling asleep in a bar contest:
1st: Eric. Twice.
DNF: Noli, Marty. Zero.
This was no contest as well, this is Eric's perfected art.
Grabbing a random girls ass and being caught contest:
1st: Marty. Once.
DNF: Eric, Noli. Zero.
Marty pretended not remembering this. Hahahaha... he didnt even remember the girl turning around and grabbing him by the ear.
Ill continue posting the next few days... more details on Portugal, Madrid, Barcelona... and Monte Carlo.
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Sinn Fein
Pit stop at home, just finished the Irish leg of the tour and currently recharging and repacking (hopefully more smarter) at my place in Dundalk. Flying to Portugal tomorrow.
Here's a sample of random quotes of the past week:
(In da Club, Dublin)
Eric: "What the hell, man! Those two are salsa dancing! To Hip Hop! Stupid idiots. They made me spill my drink two times now!"
----
(me and eric watching Marty at the edge of the Dance Floor)
Eric: "I know Chow needs a wing man right now... but... there is no WAY Im going in there. Its not going to be me.."
----
(later on)
Marty: "Hey so what do you guys think?"
Noli: "um.. 4 maybe 5ish"
Eric: "Well maybe a 5.5"
Marty: "What theres no way! Im not talking about the friend"
Noli: "Oh we are not either, shes a 2"
Marty: "Snap! Snap-Snap! Thats bullshit! Shes at least a 7"
Eric: "We'll give you a generous 5.5... round up to 6"
Marty: "Thats crap... give me your camera, Im going to take a picture, you mutha fuckers.."
Noli: "Go ahead, you'll see tomorrow morning"
----
(Eric looking out, as we drive through the Irish Country side)
Eric: "Now I can understand why Irelands color is Green. Actually they dont have any creativity, its bloody green absolutely everywhere..."
----
(More driving conversation)
Marty: "Hey its says here Van Morrison is Irish. Hes Irish?"
Eric: "Van Morrison? I guess so. Hey... do you think his first name is Van?"
----
(Giants Causeway, sight seeing)
Noli: "So we going to climb up there?"
Eric: "Might as well. We need to work off the Fish and Chips and deep fried twix chocolate bar. I need to watch rolling my ankles though "
Marty: "OHWWW! Fuck!" [Marty promptly rolls his ankle]
----
(Morning after night out in Belfast)
Noli : "Id say most of the girls were 7s last night. Thats why you [Marty] didnt magically lose your memory."
Eric: "Well except for the girl in the pink. She was a 5. Actually I was surprised you [Marty] didnt try to hit that"
Marty: "Yeah me too.."
Here's a sample of random quotes of the past week:
(In da Club, Dublin)
Eric: "What the hell, man! Those two are salsa dancing! To Hip Hop! Stupid idiots. They made me spill my drink two times now!"
----
(me and eric watching Marty at the edge of the Dance Floor)
Eric: "I know Chow needs a wing man right now... but... there is no WAY Im going in there. Its not going to be me.."
----
(later on)
Marty: "Hey so what do you guys think?"
Noli: "um.. 4 maybe 5ish"
Eric: "Well maybe a 5.5"
Marty: "What theres no way! Im not talking about the friend"
Noli: "Oh we are not either, shes a 2"
Marty: "Snap! Snap-Snap! Thats bullshit! Shes at least a 7"
Eric: "We'll give you a generous 5.5... round up to 6"
Marty: "Thats crap... give me your camera, Im going to take a picture, you mutha fuckers.."
Noli: "Go ahead, you'll see tomorrow morning"
----
(Eric looking out, as we drive through the Irish Country side)
Eric: "Now I can understand why Irelands color is Green. Actually they dont have any creativity, its bloody green absolutely everywhere..."
----
(More driving conversation)
Marty: "Hey its says here Van Morrison is Irish. Hes Irish?"
Eric: "Van Morrison? I guess so. Hey... do you think his first name is Van?"
----
(Giants Causeway, sight seeing)
Noli: "So we going to climb up there?"
Eric: "Might as well. We need to work off the Fish and Chips and deep fried twix chocolate bar. I need to watch rolling my ankles though "
Marty: "OHWWW! Fuck!" [Marty promptly rolls his ankle]
----
(Morning after night out in Belfast)
Noli : "Id say most of the girls were 7s last night. Thats why you [Marty] didnt magically lose your memory."
Eric: "Well except for the girl in the pink. She was a 5. Actually I was surprised you [Marty] didnt try to hit that"
Marty: "Yeah me too.."
Friday, April 15, 2005
Tomorrow... or I mean Today
Oh my fecking gosh... Im so in a rush right now, running out of time, as always. Work is acting the maggot and does not cease in finding a way to keep me insane up until I leave (Tues went home 9:30, Wed home 10:30, Tonight, mid night), whilst I still have to pack and get ready for this vacation trip (Another trip! So Good! right now Im like woody allen at the footsteps to a chinese orphan adoption agency...), which starts tomorrow. Even though I have nil time, I needed to post something on the blog... something... just to say hi, at the very least...
JUST finished packing, when I discovered that somewhere along the way I lost my Lets Go! Ireland travel guide. Sommawhore.. I hope to heaven that it might be at work. Anyways packing is one of my least developed attributes, i have sorely subnormal skills. (like nunchuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills) My plan of attack though is bring the least possible with me, which translates to the most room available for some Madrid shopping. Im always thinking. So far so good... i didnt even have to employ the rolling clothes technique yet. As of right now they are still "proper folded for the drawer" style...
Speaking of shopping, I am SO proud of myself that I made it through London this weekend without having to sell a kidney. Miracles upon miracles, you can count this up there with me going to Amsterdam without going to the red light district (I know! Ridiculous! Im still scratching my head on that one). Yes, its almost up there in terms of relative scale, heres what I did: I made it through Camden, Carnaby and Oxford Street... and only bought two things! Only two! If there was someone here Id high five them.. a jumping high five even.
I stayed with Chi-ing and really like her new pad... its pretty decked out with high ceilings, granite counters, and a just too sweet bathroom. Best part though is her Smeg kitchen appliances. Smeg, in the UK, is some of THE best kitchen hardware available. I would say its the Beemer or Mercedes of Kitchen stove tops and fridges. The one thing I dont understand is why they named it after smelly sticky body secretions. Like you wont see me anytime soon contemplating buying a toaster or grill if the brand name was Sweaty Pubes.
kay rambled a bit too much, wrote more than I expected... its really late, and I still have to be sensible and wake up. Shit, its only about 14 hours until I need to pick up O'Chow and O'Chin. (we are going to be turning heads, its like we are the forward line of the Chinese Imperial Army team)
Hasta Luego...
JUST finished packing, when I discovered that somewhere along the way I lost my Lets Go! Ireland travel guide. Sommawhore.. I hope to heaven that it might be at work. Anyways packing is one of my least developed attributes, i have sorely subnormal skills. (like nunchuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills) My plan of attack though is bring the least possible with me, which translates to the most room available for some Madrid shopping. Im always thinking. So far so good... i didnt even have to employ the rolling clothes technique yet. As of right now they are still "proper folded for the drawer" style...
Speaking of shopping, I am SO proud of myself that I made it through London this weekend without having to sell a kidney. Miracles upon miracles, you can count this up there with me going to Amsterdam without going to the red light district (I know! Ridiculous! Im still scratching my head on that one). Yes, its almost up there in terms of relative scale, heres what I did: I made it through Camden, Carnaby and Oxford Street... and only bought two things! Only two! If there was someone here Id high five them.. a jumping high five even.
I stayed with Chi-ing and really like her new pad... its pretty decked out with high ceilings, granite counters, and a just too sweet bathroom. Best part though is her Smeg kitchen appliances. Smeg, in the UK, is some of THE best kitchen hardware available. I would say its the Beemer or Mercedes of Kitchen stove tops and fridges. The one thing I dont understand is why they named it after smelly sticky body secretions. Like you wont see me anytime soon contemplating buying a toaster or grill if the brand name was Sweaty Pubes.
kay rambled a bit too much, wrote more than I expected... its really late, and I still have to be sensible and wake up. Shit, its only about 14 hours until I need to pick up O'Chow and O'Chin. (we are going to be turning heads, its like we are the forward line of the Chinese Imperial Army team)
Hasta Luego...
Sunday, April 03, 2005
My Shit is Bananas... Bee Ay-Ehn Ay-Ehn Ay-Ess
Random stuff...
"Wow Thats a REALLY big change.."
"Man they are all so beautiful! except for the one that still looks like a hawk of course.."
"I wont be surprised if the scary one wins, just because shes deaf and all. Its so not fair..."
"Omygosh, she is SO gorgeous now... i cant believe how uggers she use to be"
"Oh good! The Scary Deaf Hawk one didnt win!"
"Oh man, we are all being bad here... saying bad things but OH WELL.."
-Comments overheard in our conversations as the 2nd Season finale beauty pagent of The Swan airs last Sat. in Ireland... another season of making oogly chicks surgically enhanced knockouts. In some cases only.
Im sorry, sometimes TV here is desperate... and there was nothing to watch after Ant and Decs Saturday Night Take Out. (The two guys that had a Cameo in Love Actually, and were the original hosts of Pop Idol, predecessor of American Idol. Their show is pretty freakin good)
Other random notes:
- I just set Hollaback Girl mp3- Gwen Stefani as my ringtone, replacing the Different Strokes theme. Im so proud of myself for being the coolest ever.
- This coming week Im heading to France for work, and on the way back, I get to spend the weekend in London. Which means.... GONG!!... London shopping, babe. Carnaby St, Oxford St, Camden, Chelsea here I come. So bloody expensive there but sometimes, yes sometimes, you need to sacrifice. Im so broke.
"Wow Thats a REALLY big change.."
"Man they are all so beautiful! except for the one that still looks like a hawk of course.."
"I wont be surprised if the scary one wins, just because shes deaf and all. Its so not fair..."
"Omygosh, she is SO gorgeous now... i cant believe how uggers she use to be"
"Oh good! The Scary Deaf Hawk one didnt win!"
"Oh man, we are all being bad here... saying bad things but OH WELL.."
-Comments overheard in our conversations as the 2nd Season finale beauty pagent of The Swan airs last Sat. in Ireland... another season of making oogly chicks surgically enhanced knockouts. In some cases only.
Im sorry, sometimes TV here is desperate... and there was nothing to watch after Ant and Decs Saturday Night Take Out. (The two guys that had a Cameo in Love Actually, and were the original hosts of Pop Idol, predecessor of American Idol. Their show is pretty freakin good)
Other random notes:
- I just set Hollaback Girl mp3- Gwen Stefani as my ringtone, replacing the Different Strokes theme. Im so proud of myself for being the coolest ever.
- This coming week Im heading to France for work, and on the way back, I get to spend the weekend in London. Which means.... GONG!!... London shopping, babe. Carnaby St, Oxford St, Camden, Chelsea here I come. So bloody expensive there but sometimes, yes sometimes, you need to sacrifice. Im so broke.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Im on it, get on it, the troops are on fire
The last couple of days Ive been dealing with the nightmare of doing my Canadian tax return OUTSIDE OF CANADA. I shouted because apparently, when you are living outside of Canada and no longer a resident, you have to fill out the form BY HAND. No electronic submissions. Only manually. Using a calculator. And writing numbers into little boxes with Pen. Then mailing it in. With a stamp. Like what the faaah? Who exactly does it by hand now? Apart from stupid people that dont know you can do it using computers, or accountants that get their jollies "doin it oldskool"? Well, theres me... I guess. I havent done my taxes by hand, in I dont know, I cant even remember... I dont think I ever have. And now I have to, its like being forced to do long division and divide 234917 by 384.62 with pencil and paper, when there is a calculator right in front of you, just to tease. Now I see it as Canada's backhanded yet subtle punishment to all those leaving the country. Its anachoristic torture. Now add insult to injury, and rub vinegar, tabasco and lemon into the wound; after I struggled through the process, filling out that sommabitch (took me four hours).. I reviewed it and found out I screwed up. Now I have to start all over again, cuz unlike Nicole doing crosswords in pen, white-out is not acceptable.
The only thing that kept me sane through this was listening to Kasabian over and over. Its the first album Ive actually properly bought in the longest time, and it is fabulously, unbelievably, crotchgrabbingly transcendent. Or as Morris would say "Sooooooooo guuud.." Every song just makes me wanna pee. An absolute pleasure... if you like this new rush of original music from Franz and Killers and Muse and Doves... you need to have a listen. (MJ you wont like it though, no mushy love songs) In my opinion, its the best overall album, top to bottom, since Radiohead- The Bends, Dr. Dre- The Chronic and Michael Jackson- Invincible. I cant wait for me iPod/Ressurected to return so that I can start to take it with me... Again.
Oh yeah, did I tell you? Steve O'Jobs came through (actually it was Stevinder Jobhar, since the Apple support call center for Ireland is located in India), and they are sending me a new replacement.. no worries, dont even have to pay for shipping. Stevinder rules...
The only thing that kept me sane through this was listening to Kasabian over and over. Its the first album Ive actually properly bought in the longest time, and it is fabulously, unbelievably, crotchgrabbingly transcendent. Or as Morris would say "Sooooooooo guuud.." Every song just makes me wanna pee. An absolute pleasure... if you like this new rush of original music from Franz and Killers and Muse and Doves... you need to have a listen. (MJ you wont like it though, no mushy love songs) In my opinion, its the best overall album, top to bottom, since Radiohead- The Bends, Dr. Dre- The Chronic and Michael Jackson- Invincible. I cant wait for me iPod/Ressurected to return so that I can start to take it with me... Again.
Oh yeah, did I tell you? Steve O'Jobs came through (actually it was Stevinder Jobhar, since the Apple support call center for Ireland is located in India), and they are sending me a new replacement.. no worries, dont even have to pay for shipping. Stevinder rules...
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Im speaking Portuguese...
Este parágrafo vai ser especial. Estou escrevendo em português. A maioria de vocês não vai nem entender sobre o que eu estou escrevendo, hahaha, tudo o que vocês vão ver é um monte de palavras estrangeiras juntas parecendo incrivelmente exóticas. Se você entendeu tudo isto, então você saberá que eu devo agradecer à minha amiga Renata por ter escrito isto para mim! A menos que você conheça Cristiano Ronaldo, Ronaldinho ou Nelly Furtado para traduzir pra você, me desculpe eu serei o único a saber o que estou escrevendo. Espere um momento, Eu estou indo até a cozinha para bebida um copo d'agua. Força!
...been touching up on my Portuguese, preparing for Portugal, aint no thang... i got skills...Maravihlosa. Only about 3 weeks left until Eric and Marty show up. These are the times when living in Europe absolutely kicks JLo ass; vacation time. First, you get tons of it, and second, theres tons of places to go. Actually Ireland probably gets the least vacation time of any of its EU brothers. Where Canada and US have minimums of 10 days a year, Ireland gets 23 as a govt enforced minimum. UK has an average of like 23-7 days, and Germany gets an obscene average of 30-35 days a year. The most insultingly sickening one though is the French. 36 vacation days a year, plus 20 floater days. Doesnt that make you want to puke on your shoes? Or even better, work at the Louvre cafe? Anyways, the itinary is Ireland-Portugal-Spain-Southern France/Monaco, which is nominally better than Hope-Cache Creek-Williams Lake-Prince George... but only by a little.
...been touching up on my Portuguese, preparing for Portugal, aint no thang... i got skills...Maravihlosa. Only about 3 weeks left until Eric and Marty show up. These are the times when living in Europe absolutely kicks JLo ass; vacation time. First, you get tons of it, and second, theres tons of places to go. Actually Ireland probably gets the least vacation time of any of its EU brothers. Where Canada and US have minimums of 10 days a year, Ireland gets 23 as a govt enforced minimum. UK has an average of like 23-7 days, and Germany gets an obscene average of 30-35 days a year. The most insultingly sickening one though is the French. 36 vacation days a year, plus 20 floater days. Doesnt that make you want to puke on your shoes? Or even better, work at the Louvre cafe? Anyways, the itinary is Ireland-Portugal-Spain-Southern France/Monaco, which is nominally better than Hope-Cache Creek-Williams Lake-Prince George... but only by a little.
Thursday, March 24, 2005
iDead
My iPod has died. It doesnt work anymore, and Im soooooooooooooooooooooo devastated. Absolutely crushed. It gets really hot now (fever), and the hard drive keeps spinning and spinning with no result, repeating ad nauseum (alzheimers). Mort.
Its quite poignant, but I can finally relate now to some of the most emotionally heartfelt moments in history, like I now know how Kevin Amold felt when his inspirational math teacher passed away, or how Davey Boy Smith and Dynamite Kid felt when Matilda was kidnapped; its a dark empty place, where you constantly battle and fight to not cry so much. You have to understand this was my best friend in Ireland. An inanimate object was my best friend. I dont think I have referenced anything in this blog more than my iPod. It provided a soundtrack to my aimlessness... and it kept me occupied when I walked around and gallivanted about without point, with nothing better to do, it was always there before. Now its not.
So now with iPod gone, there is a few things that I can no longer do. I can no longer go to the gym and "almost" dance in the mirror to 99 Red Ballons, cant go for a run and get a rush of adreneline when Vanessa Carltons White Houses comes on, and I was REALLY looking forward to listening to Nelly Furtados portugueses songs which I dont understand, while i walked on the beaches of Algarve and Lisboa next month. Or even listen to my pal Enrique sing "Escape" while walking the calle in Madrid. Lets not also forget it is THE status card for being cool. Not that Im not cool anymore, Im not saying that, Im still cool. Just sad too.
There is still hope for resurrection though. Im sending it into apple.ie, hoping that Steve O'Jobs can fix it. There is the one small complication that I bought it in Canada, and the warranty is suppose to only apply in North America... but ehhhhhhhh... minor technicality. Otherwise they might have to talk to my two pals, on my right, Peter McNeely and on my left, Gerry Cooney.
Its quite poignant, but I can finally relate now to some of the most emotionally heartfelt moments in history, like I now know how Kevin Amold felt when his inspirational math teacher passed away, or how Davey Boy Smith and Dynamite Kid felt when Matilda was kidnapped; its a dark empty place, where you constantly battle and fight to not cry so much. You have to understand this was my best friend in Ireland. An inanimate object was my best friend. I dont think I have referenced anything in this blog more than my iPod. It provided a soundtrack to my aimlessness... and it kept me occupied when I walked around and gallivanted about without point, with nothing better to do, it was always there before. Now its not.
So now with iPod gone, there is a few things that I can no longer do. I can no longer go to the gym and "almost" dance in the mirror to 99 Red Ballons, cant go for a run and get a rush of adreneline when Vanessa Carltons White Houses comes on, and I was REALLY looking forward to listening to Nelly Furtados portugueses songs which I dont understand, while i walked on the beaches of Algarve and Lisboa next month. Or even listen to my pal Enrique sing "Escape" while walking the calle in Madrid. Lets not also forget it is THE status card for being cool. Not that Im not cool anymore, Im not saying that, Im still cool. Just sad too.
There is still hope for resurrection though. Im sending it into apple.ie, hoping that Steve O'Jobs can fix it. There is the one small complication that I bought it in Canada, and the warranty is suppose to only apply in North America... but ehhhhhhhh... minor technicality. Otherwise they might have to talk to my two pals, on my right, Peter McNeely and on my left, Gerry Cooney.
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