Olympic Edition

Ive been depressed for the last fortnight. Im not talking sad like its raining again type sad, or even its my last day in Australia I need to work tomorrow type sad... but really messed up Lindsay Lohan type, clinically depressed I need powerful pills type sad. I really think so. I've had a tough time reconciling the fact that where I am is almost the last place I want to be, on my couch in my pajamas, up late at night every night. I don't want to be in Ireland right now. Not this February. But here I am, while the biggest party in the whole world happens in my home city. Thats what I call pathetically bad planning, gold medal worthy.

Maybe I was fooling myself but I didnt think I would be in this bad of shape, missing out on the Olympics. After all, up until a month ago, I still think I had a chance of being back. There was still a chance. When it really started hitting me was the week leading into the first day, when the excitement began to build as the torch got closer and closer to Vancouver. The torch relay was broadcast in realtime on CTV.com and of course I watched online. And as soon as it hit the Vancouver streets that I was very familiar with, even though the weather was miserable and damp, my poor heart filled with delight.. and completely sunk at the exact same time. How is that even possible? I got hit with an intense range of emotion and strangely enough, it was the first time I have ever felt homesick in my entire life.

Moments of weakness often lead to irrational decisions and in this case I broke down on something I held off valiantly for almost 5 years... I decided to pay for cable / satellite TV. I have a fairly big HD TV... so I might as well use it to its full potential and get HD SKY. I upgraded from 4 channels to 400... or whatever ridiculous number it is. If i wasnt going to be there, I might as well watch in such detail that I can count the nose hairs and facial pimples. Eurosport HD and BBC HD, the coverage holders of the Olympics were going to be my best friends for 16 days.

So the situation isnt close to being ideal, but Ive tried to make the most of the circumstances. Considering I watch alone in my apartment well into the late hours of the night every night, like some loser, Ive been living and dying on the success of the Canadian contingent. The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. My mood has mirrored the sorrow and success of Canadians each day. Off to a slow start, as the Canadian team always seems to be at every Olympics, i fully felt in touch with our national collective insecurity, the ridicule we've received, lead by the British and American media, for initial hick-ups and the under performance of our "Own the Podium" Program. Funny enough, we have been sneakily crawling back into the picture and now half way on this saturday, with only one day to go, we lead the Gold medal race, we ARE owning the podium, and have a good chance of matching or surpassing the all time record for golds in an Winter Olympics, 13. Sure USA and Germany have more medals, but that only means they have more Silver and Bronze medals, which at the end of the day, are really just 1st and 2nd place for the losers. Calling a spade a spade, they are the measure for any tie breakers, at best. Ive jumped and screamed and died all by myself multiple times during the midnight to 3am time slots; I pumped my fist GTL style on Alex Bilodeaus mogul run for our first ever home gold, raised my hands on Maelle Ricker's Snowboard cross gold, I had a huge lump in my throat after Joannie Rochettes short program, and have celebrated every single Gold medal we got, which has been a lot. Not bad for being half a world away, I guess. Itll have to do. Ive been zombie useless at work... but who cares about that.

Heres a few notes;

- BBC and Eurosport UK have great Olympic commentary on the most part. I dont know if its the accent or not, the eloquent vocabulary or not, but they do excel in making things exciting just as long as they dont cheer for British athletes, and since the UK has a shitty Winter Olympics team, they tend to back Canada alot. It is bad though when they have British contenders, because it becomes over the top. And the BBC does get annoying when they cover sports they have no clue about. Hockey coverage is atrocious, it makes me so upset, I dont even want to talk about it. At least Eurosport has Paul Romanuk doing Hockey for them (apparently he moved to London 4 years ago)

- I love that BBC has no commercials. And Eurosport hardly has any. This is the way TV is meant to be. Socialist style.

- Curling has been the emerging darling of the tournament. Especially on the women's side. And viewership not by just Canadians, who naturally understand and appreciate curling more than any other nation, but also by the Americans and the European viewers as well. Why? Well the curlers are miked so we hear everything they say, the pace is slow enough that it gives the curlers loads of camera close ups. Thats a big deal because we get intimate facial time with the concentration on the faces of the curlers, and we hear them strategize, so as we watch more we get to understand how they think and help us understand the game. Then of course, on the women side, there are some hotties. Nicole Joraanstad, the 2nd of the US team, the sisters on the Danish team, the 2nd on the Swedish team, Cheryl the Canadian Curlgar Bernard, and Eve Muirhead the hot blonde with brunette streaks skipping the UK team. Ohh.. she is so bossy.. its hot. There is no hetero guy alive at any age that will change the channel with cuties like them yelling " Hard.. HARD!... HAARD! HURRAY! " repeatedly at the top of their lungs. No way.

-I have huge appreciation for the fashion involved in the Winter Olympics. The summer Olympics has nothing on the Winter. Almost everyone looks like a super hero! Full body lycra in almost every sport. When everyone looks like they are straight out of Marvel Comic books, everyone is happy.

-I love the sounds of sledding events. It has the loud screeching jet sounds of Top Gun. They make us think these things are about the break the sound barrier.

-The olympics is the only international competition where spectators that know nothing about the event they are watching eventually become experts after 1 hour watching and think they know what they are talking about. Only in the Olympics.

- As cute as Torah Bright is, the womens moguls dont hold a candle to the men moguls. Its not even close.

-The best thing about the Slalom events? The NFL Kicker jaw guards and the Michael Jackson Shin pads... Grab you crotch, HEEEE HEEEE!!

-Since this is Europe afterall, there is an unfair balance of coverage spent on the traditional nordic events. Cross country skiing, biathalon and ski jumping. Like loads, pre-empting some of the stuff I want to see like, say, Hockey. That being said, I have the utmost respect for the cross country sprint events because holy shit do they work hard to ski. I get tired just watching them. Forget Ironman, they would have to be the fittest people on earth, I swear.


- "Thank you, its been a pleasure working with you, its very rare for us to be working with the insight of an Olympic Alpine Champion" BBC commentary team Clare Harding thanking Canadian skiing Gold Medalist Karin Lee Gartner, who was doing primary color commentary for BBC. I find that immensely amusing.

OH YES JACEY JAY!!! LES GOW!!! Down .7 seconds from the first run, and he makes up for it in the Snowboard Parallel Giant Slalom Final.. LETS GO!! CAN NA DA! CA NA DA! Gold Number 12.

The curling is about to start... hold onto your butts.