Van Damage

You know those childhood arguments during Recess or sleep overs, where you would argue with your buddy who would win in a fight, Rambo (Sly) or Conan (Arnold). And honestly, nothing in the world as a 10 year old was more important or so contentious than who would kick whose ass, Sly vs Arnold, in a real fight. That stupid argument would go on forever. But me and my childhood friends knew the truth, Van Damme could kick both their asses at the sametime with one hand amputated and his shoe laces tied together "no problem". For a brief period of time, from 1989 to 1994, Van Damme was a God. And for a select few, like Wayne, Burt and my brother JR, he still is. Hell Burt and JR even learned to do the splits Van Damme style when they were 10 so they could do the infamous "Splits then Punch the nuts" super move, which instantly replaced the crane kick as the most impressive martial arts move of death of all time. But Im pretty sure if we ever had the internet back then and watched this clip, as developing children, it would of tilted our worlds and been as devastating as the time we found out wrestling was fake.

Van Damme is a Prench Backla

Dont Hassel the Hoff

Hooked on a Feeling



An oldie but Goodie with Mitch Michael Knight Buchanan. I love everything about this video, and hopefully by sharing the love, super hoff fan Dirk Nowitzki gets an Super Mario Invincibility star and wins the next two games by himself without ref help... starting tonight...

[Post Editors Note: Miami ended up winning in 6. I guess the Hoff is useless after all]

World Cup Weekend

Let me waste some time. Ill talk sports.

Maybe there is something wrong with me. This morning I was actually slightly tempted to watch the Japan vs Croatia match, which is the equivalent of watching the Tampa Bay Devil Rays play the Kansas City Royals. Like, really who gives a Kaka. Good thing I was only slightly tempted... I blogged this instead. Yesterday Ghana beat the Czechs and the Italians scored two goals against the US's none. Too bad one of Italys goals was into its own net...

Now I havent mentioned the Stanley Cup Playoffs at all since the beginning, probably because Im in a feeble position to comment on whats really going on. As Ive well documented in the past, NHL is as foreign as Polar Bears in Ireland, but I have to say that I am totally ecstatic that the Oil have pushed it to seven games and are on the verge of winning its 6th Cup. Unlike 2 years ago, where I vilified everyone in Vancouver that cheered for the stupid Flames during the finals, strangely I dont have a problem at all with cheering for the Oilers. Maybe its because I was a Oilers mini supporter during the 80s in the the Gretzky years and when the Canucks were ass wipe... and also I hold a strong grudge since it was actually Joel Otto of the Flames that ILLEGALLY KICKED IN THE PUCK IN OVERTIME OF GAME 7 against the Canucks in 1989 and went on to win the whole thing (since that time my opinion of the Flames have been on par with fresh Elephant excrement) But here is the best reason.... at the beginning of the Playoffs I went with a flier and put money on the Oilers to win it all. Daft at the time I know, but the odds were 50-1... and now I am one game away from being 250 euros richer... whoever said gambling was immoral? Go Oil GO!!!

I need to ease into this...

I need to stretch a little bit.. do a few proverbial lunges, back streches, jumping jacks... before I start blogging again... hence I go bullet point form...

-Holiday was brilliant. Bilbao Spain -> San Sebastian Spain -> Biarritz Prance -> Bordeaux Prance -> Paris Prance... Absolutely savage.. ill get more into it in subsequent posts with pics... but I need to stretch more still...its relief though to walk around now and actually understand what people say. As kewl as it is to be away immersed in a language you only have baby skills at, its even nicer coming back home solid in the knowledge of how to aks for a side salad instead of fries.


- Wayne made an obtuse comment yesterday on msn chat... that KT Tunstall sucks. WHAT?!! Then I remember this is from the same guy who counts "You can do Magic" by America and "Sailing" by Christopher Cross as iconic love songs, quite possibly two of the gayest songs ever released in history... so judge for yourself, as you will, on his musical acumen. KT's 'Other side of the world' and 'Suddenly I See' are absolute class, they are my early summer songs of 2006... actually the whole Album is dog licking his own balls good.

- Chatted with Jill too, and she said she doesnt eat Veras burgers anymore. YEAH RIGHT! Such a liar...

- Heading to Japan next weekend. A ludicris trip actually, fly / commute probably a total 24 hours there and 24 hours back in order to visit a customer for about 4 hours worth of work. What a joke. Its a jolly by all definitions... at least I get to go shopping in Tokyo again... if this was the late 80s Id be doing the cabbage patch.

- David Duval is on the leaderboard after the second round of the US Open. That doesnt surprise me so much as the fact that he still wears those old school wrap around Oakleys. Ques-ce fuck? Thats SOOOOO early 90s... I dont even think they sell those anymore. Get with the program Duval... no wonder why he sucks now.

- Good news bulletin #1: Eldrick Woods missed the cut at the US Open. Watch me as I do a Woods uppercut punch and hold it there (Ive decided to stop calling him Tiger. Although if I got a chance to name myself as a kid as he did, Id be Prince)

- World Cup started last weekend and its absolutely sweet that its in my own time zone. Dreams of actually attending a game are quickly fading though, ohwell. My pick: Espanyol. Other teams I like: Czechs Cereal, Forca Portugal, Diego Argentina, Giselle Brazil, Orange Holland. Teams I cheer against: the cocky Americans, the clock/knife making Swiss, the dull Germans and those English Bastards. And of course there is a soft spot in my heart for the Ghanians.

- Good news bulletin #2: Overhyped USA got hammered 3-0 in their World Cup opener against the Czechs... I just absolutely love rooting against the Americans in anything. They cant even win the worlds in basketball and baseball, so realistically what chance do they have in soccer. Consider themselves lucky they are not facing Ronaldinho Robinho Adriano Kaka Cafu & Fred. Itd be 56-0.

- Anne-Marie sent me a gorgeous pic of their 6 month old baby Tyson. I LOVE this pic (Tyson Palma, now there is a name. Its like Steve McQueen)



- okay this is my first post that I completed 100% on the shitter. I need to light a match.

Prince Abecia