Its a nice day for a... Billy Idol..

Its a well known fact that girls start planning their weddings when they are like five years old. As soon as they crush on that first cute boy thats not yucky like the others, it starts. And the ideas and concepts become clearer and more refined as they get older. Barbie / My Little Pony / Care Bear designs and Chuck E Cheese venues make way and evolve into lilys, carnations, roses, white silk / beachfront ideas. See I know this as a true undisputed fact, and having said that, I dont even get girls at all. But this I know (along with all of them being crazy and evil).

Guys wont admit it, but we kinda do it too. Well not so much the wedding in general, but only the specifics that interest us. My buddy Wayne, for example, has selected his starting lineup of Best Man and Groomsmen way back in Grade 12, and has stuck to it like peanut butter and jelly. It aint changing. And there is no respectable hetero dude that doesnt start formulating ideas about the ultimate stag nite. Ideas of golf at pebble beach, karting around the Indy 500, and partying in Las Vegas, Mexico, Ibiza and Amsterdam are the ultimate goals of any true best man. And here in Ireland, the stage nite is taken as a true fine art... with the model being that there must be a International site stag nite (eg Hamburg, Madrid, Edinburgh), a National within Ireland Stag nite (eg. Dublin, Cork, Galway), and a local home town stag nite. Three Stag nites! Another fine example of why the Irish are brilliant.

So I wont apologize then when yesterday I spent about 4 hours trying to think of the ULTIMATE "Intro" music for the entrance into my wedding reception. This was a very hard pick. I whittled it down to a list of 5 possibilities, and this is what I came up with, all being introduced by my Emcee, Michael Buffer, of course. Download the songs so that you know what Im talkin about.

• Pixies "Here comes your man" ->good catchy guitar riff, happy music; this is a good strutting and nodding with a shit eating grin type song... and an easy chorus for everyone to sing along with.

• 2001: A Space Odyssey Orchestra theme -> Id have to come out walking really slow with arms pointed to the roof.. this would require a Ric Flair robe as well.

• U2 "Where the streets have no name" -> Reasons are threefold: 1) It has one of the most recognizable electrical guitar riffs, intro band beats of all time 2) The Canucks intro to it 3) Im practically Irish now.

• The Cure "Close to Me" -> Well this is my favorite song of all time. So I have to put it in. Original version, with the trumpets and flute, no stupid remixes.

• Intro Chicago Bulls Theme -> Like... as if this doesnt make your spine tingle? "Starting at guard, in his 12th year, from Nebraska University... number 52 Eric Piatkowski!!!"

Its cant miss thunderous applause.

Winter Olympics

Its now the second Olympics I get to watch in Europe, but since the Irish dont have much of a Winter Olympic team, (cuz when it does snow, the whole country practically shuts down), then theres not really that much coverage on television. I think the best efforts of the Irish Winter Olympics team this year in Turino was some dude who finished 88th in the Biathalon. BBC still has some decent coverage fortunately.. and since the British dont have much of a team either.. then its actually nice when they skewer the attention to other commonwealth countries that actually know what they are doin... ie Canada... and also Australia in Aerials (but thats it, no doubt under the influence of Whistler) Now, I know I ripped the English during the Athens Olympics for being overly dramatic and completely sensationalistic, BUT it actually sounds not too shabby when these pompy English annoucers start cheering for your guys. Of course they still focus on the british hopefuls that barely miss the spotlight, comin in a respectable 4th in bobsleding, or 5th in 500m short track, or getting a silver in skeleton (National Hero!!) but who cares just as long as they are trumping up Clara Hughes and Cindy Klassen as well. And get this, I got the Irish guys in the office to cheer on the Canadians, too. Thats all my doing, thats all me... Canada's daily Olympic accomplishments are actually watercooler material in the mornings at an Irish company. I rule.

One poor showing has been the hockey Coverage which hasnt been broadcast live often, and when it does, it sounds like the play by play and color commentary are being done by some amateur pulled off the street at random. They have no idea what they are freakin talking about, driving me mad, again all in an English accent no less, and mispronoucing every players name. Personally I dont think its that hard to say Iginla or Lecavalier. A horrible job. I was in Sweden though when I watched the quarter finals when Canada lost to Prussia, Czechs beat the Slovaks, Fins beat the Americans and Sweden demolished the Swiss. At least then, I watched those games in Swedish, which was way better.

BBC did come out with this gem,

"Kovalev who has more moves than a Madonna video"

so bad its good...

So Team Canada lost yes... which sucks. But what can you do. Thats what happens when you let someone like Bryan McCabe on the team. He brings everyone down to his level... he is cancer... Stupid Maple Leafs...

Starting again

And then I started writing again. (According to literary rules, you can not start off a sentence with a conjunction. BUT like most other reknown literary writers, I rebel) I havent been compelled so much lately to blog, a valley period. Blogging somehow migrated to the choir list when I got back to Ireland; like cleaning the bathroom, washing the dishes, or watching a chick-flick with girlfriend. Or in the case of Yankee Alex Rodgriguez, being clutch. Completely my fault, I fell into a lull (well not completely my fault, this is what happens when I dont get any christmas gifts for my list. Im not letting that one go.. nuh uhh). I always felt a bit guilty though... and I just had to start writing again. The problem was that I couldnt think of much to write about; well there is stuff, but I didnt know how to spin it or twist it so that it was funny or exciting or memorable. And the whole deal with this blog is, from my very first post, was that Id have to try to stay entertaining and influencial. There is nothing more banal than a blog that doesnt. Then again I could always try lying. Luckily I never lie, right Jill?

So maybe Ill just jot down random shite... my patented short cut easy out... and Ill try to keep more frequent as well (how many times have I said that?) One caveat though, I have built in excuses for the next two weeks, cuz Ill be in Sweden starting tomorrow and then Oklahoma City the next week. Dont hate if I dissappear temporarily again... Ill be busy listening to ABBA and then watching the displaced Hornets..

- you know you are in a Louisiana ghetto neighborhood when.... you see a 1994 Chevy Cavalier... with 18" chrome spinners.

- the Holiday Inn I stayed at when I was in Louisiana just recently moved out all the relocated New Orleans residents that were temporarily staying there on Government assistance. Before they moved in, every hotel room had a fridge and TV. Now? Uhh.. not so much.

- Eva Green has joined Virginie Ledoyen on the hallowed podium of hottest French girls ever. Just watch the Dreamers. Wow. Movie sucked.. but with her in it, holy kamoly..

- If you havent heard of it already, I highly recommend visiting www.Pandora.com and the Music Genome Project. Its one of the best sites since www.google.com and www.myfreepaysite.com. Its that good. Try it, itll quickly become your personal radio, and is quite possibly the greatest innovation to music listening along with iPod and iTunes. My radio stations so far: "Arctic Monkeys Radio", "Damien Rice Radio", "Bone Thugs-N-Harmony Radio", "The Bravery Radio", "Death Cab for Cutie radio". It covers all my musical bases and is the best way to discover new music you might like.

- Speaking of, Marty and Morris... for new music, if you havent already, check out the Arctic Monkeys. Pretty rockin, I likem...

- Kid Rock and Scott Stapp (yes that mofo singer from Creed) have a sex tape coming out. Uh... Ill put that on the "will throw up and poke my eyes out if I ever see it" list. Its like the complete opposite of Paris Hilton...

- Ive been waiting for the next best British comedy since The Office. And I think I finally found it... its a show on Channel 4 called the IT Crowd. Too bad you Canadian / American suckers will never even see the light of day of it.. ha ha!

Kathy Ireland

Hey guys... back in Dundalk now for about a week, and its been a great change in weather. Its actually been quite sunny here. Vancouver was absolute bullocks during December / January; obscenely wet.

Watching the Superbowl at the mo. So this going to be a weak post. Quite possibly my weakest ever... sorry... (I always wondered what that would be like)