What a complete and utter supreme douche bag.
(Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd..Im done. My best blog post ever, I think. I havent even ever never watched dem Hills)
Saturday, June 06, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
5 Year Anniversary
A wierd date on the calendar for me, Ive been here for 5 years now. Wierd because, if I worked out the arithmatics, thats as long as I have lived in Vancouver. AND thats also about 5 times longer than I thought I was going to actually stay here. 5 times longer! Honestly, thats a significant multiplication factor on early estimates: I couldn't of been more off if I was trying to hit the ocean with rock, but was aiming towards Saskatchewan. Maybe its time to go (but, I say that every year). Its at this point where I would love to possess such intangibles as "Plans", "Goals" and "Career Direction". And heres some random notes:
- FAO Schwartz is now owned by Toys R Us. They better not put Geoffery the Giraffe in front, or Ill never buy Toys ever again.
- In somewhat related news, GM stock is now trading under $1. And Fiat, the famous Italian Fix It Again Tony's cars, will soon become the 2nd largest automobile company in the world, next to Toyota. Like what the? Thats like the Indian Tata Car corporation starting to outselling Honda.
- I wonder what is the percentage of people that plug their ears when they are sitting in a public toilet stall, and then hear someone occupy the stall next to them. Toilets should be installed with Bose Noise Canceling Earphones.
- I was on a hike with my buddy Tolan, and he was telling me how his dad still calls him at random annoying hours, asking for instructions on how to do something on the internet. Once, his dad did take lessons at the local community center, but that didnt work because Sisters of the local convent ran those community classes, and ignored that section of the computer lessons since they insisted there is too much evil on the internet. Maybe they have a point. You know the percentage of people that probably watch porn on the Internet? Id say probably 98%.
- On another related note, on that hike, I realized I absolutely need Goretex hiking shoes.
boa noite
- FAO Schwartz is now owned by Toys R Us. They better not put Geoffery the Giraffe in front, or Ill never buy Toys ever again.
- In somewhat related news, GM stock is now trading under $1. And Fiat, the famous Italian Fix It Again Tony's cars, will soon become the 2nd largest automobile company in the world, next to Toyota. Like what the? Thats like the Indian Tata Car corporation starting to outselling Honda.
- I wonder what is the percentage of people that plug their ears when they are sitting in a public toilet stall, and then hear someone occupy the stall next to them. Toilets should be installed with Bose Noise Canceling Earphones.
- I was on a hike with my buddy Tolan, and he was telling me how his dad still calls him at random annoying hours, asking for instructions on how to do something on the internet. Once, his dad did take lessons at the local community center, but that didnt work because Sisters of the local convent ran those community classes, and ignored that section of the computer lessons since they insisted there is too much evil on the internet. Maybe they have a point. You know the percentage of people that probably watch porn on the Internet? Id say probably 98%.
- On another related note, on that hike, I realized I absolutely need Goretex hiking shoes.
boa noite
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Where Amazing Happens..
This is class. I love this... quite possibly the most beautiful things ever ...
Monday, May 18, 2009
Definition of a Chick Flick?
The other day, About a Boy was on Irish network Television, RTE2, came upon it surprisingly, or rather, serendipitously (better word, huh). I own the DVD, but as we all seem to know, when it comes to classic favorite movies, no matter how many times you've seen them, they still seem even more special when they are on TV; there is something extra significant about the situation, a magnetic appeal that makes it very difficult to change the channel or leave the room. Add to that, I havent actually seen it in maybe 3 years, so I forgot all the good bits. It was a good day.
Watching About a Boy, and considering its appeal as a romantic comedy, it brought up again an argument from the Xmas Holiday: What defines a Chick Flick?
There was an on going argument with Nina, Crystal and Jill during our stay in Prague and they started it by proclaiming something completely wrong as if it were fact: They said that Love Actually ( the movie that we had scheduled to watch at the apartment for our christmas celebration) was a chick flick.
And I said, Oh no. Hells no. Vehemenently no. I proceeded to make my case passionately and logically, and not to worry, I ended up demolishing them in debate. And I needed to argue this because Love Actually is one of my favorite movies, and hells no way that one of my favorite movies is going to be a chick flick. No way Jose, Calderon.
Why isnt Love Actually a generic Chick Flick? Well because of one simple truth: its lacks a predominating female point of view. Romantic movies and the chick flick genre have always, ALWAYS had at heart a female narrative or at the very least a 50% share with a male lead. This definition highlights the main difference between shows like Sex and the City, from lets say, Entourage. Sex and the City: nothing but female point of view (askew). Entourage: not a single female view in sight, unless being objectified. Another example would be the difference between Big and Sleepless in the Seattle. Both star Tom Hanks, both rely on situational relationship related comedy, but in Sleepless in Seattle, Tom Hanks shares billing with Meg Ryan, and both of their stories are told simultaneously with equal weight. In Big, its only Josh Baskins and his wonderful foot Piano scene in FAO Schwartz (one of the most monumental scenes of the cinematic archives ). The result is: One is a chick flick, and one is not. Now finally, returning to the subject of my first paragraph, theres About a Boy. Even though it stars Rom-Com all star point guard Hugh Grant in a movie about relationships, no one would ever say it was chick flick. Because, well, its about a boy.
As for Love Actually, which is a collection of linear stories that associate with each other loosely in the end, almost every story arc is seen from the males point of view. There's the video camera bloke who fell in love with his bestfriend's wife, Keira Knightley. There's Colin Firths character who gets cheated on, then falls for a portuguese cleaner that he doesnt even know how to speak to. There's Billy Nighs old rocker comeback story, trying to find something meaningful. There's the bug-eyed lad who goes to the Wisconsin to find American girls. Theres Hugh Grants prime minister character, falling for the tea server girl with thunder thighs. And then there is Liam Neeson's cute story arc with his step son, who falls madly in love at the precocious age of 10. And what's left, there is only the Husband and Wife story of Alan Rickman and Emma Thompson, plus the Laura Linney tangential storyline that could be considered female leveraged. This is not enough, too much of a minority. In the end Love Actually is not a chick flick. Its not. If you still think so, try this: name one Chick Flick that doesnt revolve around female character. It doesnt exist. Crystal, who was stumped when I posed the question, even started making up movies. She even used foreign language movies, like the Korean 'My Sassy Girl'; like that even exists. Please..
Watching About a Boy, and considering its appeal as a romantic comedy, it brought up again an argument from the Xmas Holiday: What defines a Chick Flick?
There was an on going argument with Nina, Crystal and Jill during our stay in Prague and they started it by proclaiming something completely wrong as if it were fact: They said that Love Actually ( the movie that we had scheduled to watch at the apartment for our christmas celebration) was a chick flick.
And I said, Oh no. Hells no. Vehemenently no. I proceeded to make my case passionately and logically, and not to worry, I ended up demolishing them in debate. And I needed to argue this because Love Actually is one of my favorite movies, and hells no way that one of my favorite movies is going to be a chick flick. No way Jose, Calderon.
Why isnt Love Actually a generic Chick Flick? Well because of one simple truth: its lacks a predominating female point of view. Romantic movies and the chick flick genre have always, ALWAYS had at heart a female narrative or at the very least a 50% share with a male lead. This definition highlights the main difference between shows like Sex and the City, from lets say, Entourage. Sex and the City: nothing but female point of view (askew). Entourage: not a single female view in sight, unless being objectified. Another example would be the difference between Big and Sleepless in the Seattle. Both star Tom Hanks, both rely on situational relationship related comedy, but in Sleepless in Seattle, Tom Hanks shares billing with Meg Ryan, and both of their stories are told simultaneously with equal weight. In Big, its only Josh Baskins and his wonderful foot Piano scene in FAO Schwartz (one of the most monumental scenes of the cinematic archives ). The result is: One is a chick flick, and one is not. Now finally, returning to the subject of my first paragraph, theres About a Boy. Even though it stars Rom-Com all star point guard Hugh Grant in a movie about relationships, no one would ever say it was chick flick. Because, well, its about a boy.
As for Love Actually, which is a collection of linear stories that associate with each other loosely in the end, almost every story arc is seen from the males point of view. There's the video camera bloke who fell in love with his bestfriend's wife, Keira Knightley. There's Colin Firths character who gets cheated on, then falls for a portuguese cleaner that he doesnt even know how to speak to. There's Billy Nighs old rocker comeback story, trying to find something meaningful. There's the bug-eyed lad who goes to the Wisconsin to find American girls. Theres Hugh Grants prime minister character, falling for the tea server girl with thunder thighs. And then there is Liam Neeson's cute story arc with his step son, who falls madly in love at the precocious age of 10. And what's left, there is only the Husband and Wife story of Alan Rickman and Emma Thompson, plus the Laura Linney tangential storyline that could be considered female leveraged. This is not enough, too much of a minority. In the end Love Actually is not a chick flick. Its not. If you still think so, try this: name one Chick Flick that doesnt revolve around female character. It doesnt exist. Crystal, who was stumped when I posed the question, even started making up movies. She even used foreign language movies, like the Korean 'My Sassy Girl'; like that even exists. Please..
Sunday, May 10, 2009
The Abercrombie Index
Have you ever heard of the Big Mac Index? Its a measure used frequently in global economics, more specifically made famous by the Economist magazine. Essentially, its a simplified yet highly accurate way to compare the complex and volatile world of purchasing value or purchasing power in different countries as they relate to each other. Or, in other words, its a surprisingly easy way to find out if a certain country's currency is over valued or under valued, and does this by comparing the price of Big Macs in different places.
The premise is quite basic: take the cost of a Big Mac in one country: say, oh I dont know, for the sake of argument, lets randomly select Ireland. In Ireland a Big Mac cost 3.40 euros. In dollars, at current exchange rates that translates about 4.40 USD. Now if you were to buy a Big Mac in Chicago, it would cost 3.50 USD. Since we are baselined by the fact you are comparing the price of the exact same product, by the exact same company, with the exact same supply chain models, the only variable is the regional economics, and therefore, now easy to compare which location is over valued and which is under valued. The Irish Big Mac costs more. So Ireland in general terms is over valued as a country. Easy peasy, japanesey.
And if you want to get into more specifics, by comparing the ratio of the prices, to the actual exchange rate, you can then establish concrete index values; but I shouldnt bring up any more maths in this posts... itll get too confusing, and feel too much like a math / econ class. And really, who needs that kind of detail, there is a reason why there is a direct correlation between mathematics subjects and sedative potency. Just as long as you get the gist: by using the idea of a Big Mac, you can "Index" the true relative strength of a localized currency, especially in comparison to other locations. You can then contrast the relative purchasing parity of different countries, or for that matter, different local regions or even specifically, the cities themselves. And , if you wish to get really complex, you can translate it to the strength of the macro-economy, too. All from the primary cost of an ordinary Big Mac.
Anyways, so here I am in Bangor Maine today... shopping at Bangor Mall, which had both Abercrombie & Fitch and Hollister Co. stores. Most people who have shopped in the States are well aware of these two iconic fashion clothing outfits. They apply quite an effective and unique business model: turn your shopping experience into a night club type experience. Establish a modern interior design which is contemporary yet trendy, then make it consistent from store to store. Lower the lights really low, with specific spotlights on only the strategic areas that need highlighting, so that everywhere else its hard to judge if something looks good, much akin to the phenomenon of beer googles. Then play music, good modern music with a groovy beat, loud. Very loud. Like on the dial, it would be well past 'elevator music' notch or even the 'HMV' notch. With everything combined, a shopper is simply overwhelmed by the atmosphere; the restricted sight, and restricted hearing, creating a location of eliteness and exclusivity. Atmosphere and environment is essential to the consumer industry, and its the sole reason why Circuit City failed and Best Buy succeeded. And its a main reason why Abercrombie kills American Eagle in terms of brand value, even though the clothes in both stores are almost the same. Its to a great advantage to create a domain people enjoy to visit. And of course, add the bog standard that every consumer retailer should apply , you must have good looking people work there. Good looking girls, more specifically, for my interests (the guys... ehh. They might as well be light posts, really, I dont notice, but according to female friends, hot guys are key to shopping. So, even though all girls are crazy and evil, in this case I have to kinda believe them. Because in general girls shop more than guys. Well guys not named Noli). Why is this, since it sounds so discriminate and unfair? Well first of all, life is unfair, so we all kinda have to live with it. And also, in more politically expedient terms, for fashion retailers, your employees are the brand representatives... which is actually just another term for 'Model'. And to be completely fair, by law and rule, there are hardly any ugly models. To that extent the modern Ambercrombie has mastered this business concept, and hits all and every button.
In some cases, like the store In New York, on Fifth Avenue, they take the Ambercrombie / nightclub concept and bring it to amusing levels. Theres like lineups outside the store just to get in! and the good looking brand representatives / "models"? They dance like go go dancers would at certain stations! And the jeans are even stacked, organised and presented behind a bar... with like a bartender type guy to take your order. And on 5th Ave, the brand representatives slash "models" are soooooo hot. Like hot hot. Really smokin hot. So hot, you cant even phantom hitting on them because you wouldnt have the closest chance. Thats Abercrombie NY.
Bangor Maine though, in terms of the attractiveness of the Abercrombie girls there: just okay. Better than the Abercrombie I visited in Louisiana last month, and Wisconsin last year, but less than the one in Seattle and Dallas, and no where near the quality in Chicago or New York.They even had some, not so good looking ones in the back too, which is yet another Abercrombie patented move: all the charity hires are restricted to the WAY back, with probably an electronic collar that zaps them with voltage if they venture past the dressing room vicinity. If you have a really good Abercrombie store, these situations wont even exist. The local talent pool is rich enough, that the store management doesnt even need to venture down that avenue of woe.
So, after 6 paragraphs of setting the table and building up my eventual premise, I finally get around to my big idea and revelation: taking the lead of Ronald Macdonald's economics, why not use the same concepts and fundamentals to create a 'Abercrombie Index' to rate the relative "hotness" of the local region? Much like the Big Mac, we are taking a common product, from a common company, with the only variable attributed to the local area conditions of the store's location. Its well established that Abercrombie and Hollister hire with a heavy heavy HEAVY bias towards the hot people. So the natural progressive argument would then mean that each Abercrombie store would be a direct indicator of the quantity and quality of hot girls in the area (or hot guys too, I guess, but for the sake of brevity Ill continue to stick to the girls). See, if the local pond was poor... you'd know by who worked at the Abercrombie or Hollister. The greeters up front might top out at a 6.5, and there would be more regularity towards charity hires towards the back. And if the local area was really good, like say the more affluent areas of big city, then the greeters are so drop dead gorgeous that they make you cry, and the back area situation isnt even close to approaching bad dream status. See what I mean? Abercrombie and Fitch used as a scale for the key measure of territorial attractiveness. All in all, this new Index, its a rock solid, I think. And valuable, too. Comparing multiple areas as a new place to relocate for work or school? You better check out the Abercrombie Index. Disregard it at your peril.
For added breadth, this index concept can be extended to other areas as well. Jill, for example, prides herself for being offered a job at the Abercrombie in Seattle a couple times. This is another Abercrombie classic: take your pickings from people who shop at your store; if they are "Abercrombie Material', offer them a job. The reason for this is basic, really. Its like girlfriend / boyfriend scouting, but even easier. In this case: Abercrombie doesnt have to go anywhere because there is a wealth of foot traffic that comes to them. As a convenient byproduct it also bypasses any "fair hiring" laws that may exist if an opening was posted publicly. Now, if we were to apply my Abercrombie Index, how would Jill's Seattle job offer compare to the similar job offer Lisa ended up getting while shopping at Abercrombie NY when we were there last August? Without any existing standard to set against, you'd mistakenly believe it would be equal. But if you were to apply the Index, because of the relative mathematics, on paper the NYC offer in complimentary terms is more valuable. All things being equal, Lisa can currently claim more bragging rights. Just like how Rock always beats Scissors, New York on this index always beats Seattle. This will hold true up until, that is, Jill gets her eventual Abercrombie NYC job offer, one of these days, since she conveniently lives there now. If that happens, then she can hypothetically take the lead solely based on quantity. But then and only then. The index says so. (In completely unrelated news, I have a feeling I have started a new healthy competition). Moreover, if you were savy enough, its a weighted achievement that can be highlighted on your resume. "It says here that you have experience being spontaneously offered a brand rep. position in Abercrombie and Fitch. May I ask which one?" "Manhattan Fifth Avenue." "Wow... impressive..".
But in the end, it serves my purpose, because when people ask me travel type questions, like, "how was Bangor?" I can now say with all confidence.. "Well, it was a solid 7 on the Abercrombie Index" and peeps would get a perfect picture of what the town was like. And if the local area doesnt even have a Abercrombie store? Well then, that kinda answers the question by itself. Like if the area wasnt even Abercrombie worthy, it doesnt bode well for the town status prospects. (Outside of the States, however, my arrogant judgement doesnt apply, because Abercrombie corporate has hardly expanded outside of the USA, with the exception of Toronto and London, England. Just some legal copy, required so that Im not liable for any potential law suits from anyone outside of the States found unfairly insulted)
My Ambercrombie current Index table:
New York Fifth Ave: 9.5
Chicago: 8.5
Dallas: 8.5
Seattle: 8
San Francisco: 7.5
Bangor, ME: 7
Green Bay, WI: 6.5
Columbus, OH: 6.5
Shreveport, LA: 5.0
Its a work in progress. Unfortunately, my sample population is underwhelming because my American travel has been mostly limited to Southern hick towns.
The premise is quite basic: take the cost of a Big Mac in one country: say, oh I dont know, for the sake of argument, lets randomly select Ireland. In Ireland a Big Mac cost 3.40 euros. In dollars, at current exchange rates that translates about 4.40 USD. Now if you were to buy a Big Mac in Chicago, it would cost 3.50 USD. Since we are baselined by the fact you are comparing the price of the exact same product, by the exact same company, with the exact same supply chain models, the only variable is the regional economics, and therefore, now easy to compare which location is over valued and which is under valued. The Irish Big Mac costs more. So Ireland in general terms is over valued as a country. Easy peasy, japanesey.
And if you want to get into more specifics, by comparing the ratio of the prices, to the actual exchange rate, you can then establish concrete index values; but I shouldnt bring up any more maths in this posts... itll get too confusing, and feel too much like a math / econ class. And really, who needs that kind of detail, there is a reason why there is a direct correlation between mathematics subjects and sedative potency. Just as long as you get the gist: by using the idea of a Big Mac, you can "Index" the true relative strength of a localized currency, especially in comparison to other locations. You can then contrast the relative purchasing parity of different countries, or for that matter, different local regions or even specifically, the cities themselves. And , if you wish to get really complex, you can translate it to the strength of the macro-economy, too. All from the primary cost of an ordinary Big Mac.
Anyways, so here I am in Bangor Maine today... shopping at Bangor Mall, which had both Abercrombie & Fitch and Hollister Co. stores. Most people who have shopped in the States are well aware of these two iconic fashion clothing outfits. They apply quite an effective and unique business model: turn your shopping experience into a night club type experience. Establish a modern interior design which is contemporary yet trendy, then make it consistent from store to store. Lower the lights really low, with specific spotlights on only the strategic areas that need highlighting, so that everywhere else its hard to judge if something looks good, much akin to the phenomenon of beer googles. Then play music, good modern music with a groovy beat, loud. Very loud. Like on the dial, it would be well past 'elevator music' notch or even the 'HMV' notch. With everything combined, a shopper is simply overwhelmed by the atmosphere; the restricted sight, and restricted hearing, creating a location of eliteness and exclusivity. Atmosphere and environment is essential to the consumer industry, and its the sole reason why Circuit City failed and Best Buy succeeded. And its a main reason why Abercrombie kills American Eagle in terms of brand value, even though the clothes in both stores are almost the same. Its to a great advantage to create a domain people enjoy to visit. And of course, add the bog standard that every consumer retailer should apply , you must have good looking people work there. Good looking girls, more specifically, for my interests (the guys... ehh. They might as well be light posts, really, I dont notice, but according to female friends, hot guys are key to shopping. So, even though all girls are crazy and evil, in this case I have to kinda believe them. Because in general girls shop more than guys. Well guys not named Noli). Why is this, since it sounds so discriminate and unfair? Well first of all, life is unfair, so we all kinda have to live with it. And also, in more politically expedient terms, for fashion retailers, your employees are the brand representatives... which is actually just another term for 'Model'. And to be completely fair, by law and rule, there are hardly any ugly models. To that extent the modern Ambercrombie has mastered this business concept, and hits all and every button.
In some cases, like the store In New York, on Fifth Avenue, they take the Ambercrombie / nightclub concept and bring it to amusing levels. Theres like lineups outside the store just to get in! and the good looking brand representatives / "models"? They dance like go go dancers would at certain stations! And the jeans are even stacked, organised and presented behind a bar... with like a bartender type guy to take your order. And on 5th Ave, the brand representatives slash "models" are soooooo hot. Like hot hot. Really smokin hot. So hot, you cant even phantom hitting on them because you wouldnt have the closest chance. Thats Abercrombie NY.
Bangor Maine though, in terms of the attractiveness of the Abercrombie girls there: just okay. Better than the Abercrombie I visited in Louisiana last month, and Wisconsin last year, but less than the one in Seattle and Dallas, and no where near the quality in Chicago or New York.They even had some, not so good looking ones in the back too, which is yet another Abercrombie patented move: all the charity hires are restricted to the WAY back, with probably an electronic collar that zaps them with voltage if they venture past the dressing room vicinity. If you have a really good Abercrombie store, these situations wont even exist. The local talent pool is rich enough, that the store management doesnt even need to venture down that avenue of woe.
So, after 6 paragraphs of setting the table and building up my eventual premise, I finally get around to my big idea and revelation: taking the lead of Ronald Macdonald's economics, why not use the same concepts and fundamentals to create a 'Abercrombie Index' to rate the relative "hotness" of the local region? Much like the Big Mac, we are taking a common product, from a common company, with the only variable attributed to the local area conditions of the store's location. Its well established that Abercrombie and Hollister hire with a heavy heavy HEAVY bias towards the hot people. So the natural progressive argument would then mean that each Abercrombie store would be a direct indicator of the quantity and quality of hot girls in the area (or hot guys too, I guess, but for the sake of brevity Ill continue to stick to the girls). See, if the local pond was poor... you'd know by who worked at the Abercrombie or Hollister. The greeters up front might top out at a 6.5, and there would be more regularity towards charity hires towards the back. And if the local area was really good, like say the more affluent areas of big city, then the greeters are so drop dead gorgeous that they make you cry, and the back area situation isnt even close to approaching bad dream status. See what I mean? Abercrombie and Fitch used as a scale for the key measure of territorial attractiveness. All in all, this new Index, its a rock solid, I think. And valuable, too. Comparing multiple areas as a new place to relocate for work or school? You better check out the Abercrombie Index. Disregard it at your peril.
For added breadth, this index concept can be extended to other areas as well. Jill, for example, prides herself for being offered a job at the Abercrombie in Seattle a couple times. This is another Abercrombie classic: take your pickings from people who shop at your store; if they are "Abercrombie Material', offer them a job. The reason for this is basic, really. Its like girlfriend / boyfriend scouting, but even easier. In this case: Abercrombie doesnt have to go anywhere because there is a wealth of foot traffic that comes to them. As a convenient byproduct it also bypasses any "fair hiring" laws that may exist if an opening was posted publicly. Now, if we were to apply my Abercrombie Index, how would Jill's Seattle job offer compare to the similar job offer Lisa ended up getting while shopping at Abercrombie NY when we were there last August? Without any existing standard to set against, you'd mistakenly believe it would be equal. But if you were to apply the Index, because of the relative mathematics, on paper the NYC offer in complimentary terms is more valuable. All things being equal, Lisa can currently claim more bragging rights. Just like how Rock always beats Scissors, New York on this index always beats Seattle. This will hold true up until, that is, Jill gets her eventual Abercrombie NYC job offer, one of these days, since she conveniently lives there now. If that happens, then she can hypothetically take the lead solely based on quantity. But then and only then. The index says so. (In completely unrelated news, I have a feeling I have started a new healthy competition). Moreover, if you were savy enough, its a weighted achievement that can be highlighted on your resume. "It says here that you have experience being spontaneously offered a brand rep. position in Abercrombie and Fitch. May I ask which one?" "Manhattan Fifth Avenue." "Wow... impressive..".
But in the end, it serves my purpose, because when people ask me travel type questions, like, "how was Bangor?" I can now say with all confidence.. "Well, it was a solid 7 on the Abercrombie Index" and peeps would get a perfect picture of what the town was like. And if the local area doesnt even have a Abercrombie store? Well then, that kinda answers the question by itself. Like if the area wasnt even Abercrombie worthy, it doesnt bode well for the town status prospects. (Outside of the States, however, my arrogant judgement doesnt apply, because Abercrombie corporate has hardly expanded outside of the USA, with the exception of Toronto and London, England. Just some legal copy, required so that Im not liable for any potential law suits from anyone outside of the States found unfairly insulted)
My Ambercrombie current Index table:
New York Fifth Ave: 9.5
Chicago: 8.5
Dallas: 8.5
Seattle: 8
San Francisco: 7.5
Bangor, ME: 7
Green Bay, WI: 6.5
Columbus, OH: 6.5
Shreveport, LA: 5.0
Its a work in progress. Unfortunately, my sample population is underwhelming because my American travel has been mostly limited to Southern hick towns.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Boy weds a Girl
Did you know that it snows in late April in Calgary? I definitely did not know this, and you could easily tell if you were to inspect my Calgary packing job. One hoodie. A suit for the wedding. And a fashionable windbreaker. And then the rest shorts and tee shirts. Not exactly clothes you are expected to pack when there is snow on the ground and the temperature dips below zero. But then again, its exactly the type of clothes you WOULD pack when traveling on the brink of May to a destination that doesnt rhyme with Smarkttica or Diberia. Like seriously, snow at this time of year? Its beyond stupid, its ... lets say... poopid. Not only that, but given my justified annoyances and complaints, in complete contrast, the weather was greeted and treated with profound ambivalence by locals. "Ehhh.. welcome to our Winter Wonderland, what can you do. It can snow any month here." Is that the best you can do? Not even any marked insecurity with a rolodex of canned excuses? This just gives me yet another reason to hate the Calgary Flames; the city where they reside has ludicrous weather, which seems to go along with their ludicrous fans (HA! I kid, but then again I dont).
So my buddy Adam got married to his girlfriend Nathalie this weekend, which really means another rare reunion party with friends who are now increasingly scattered and disconnected around the globe. Two friends of which, Matty and Mark, gave me a bit of a hard time for not doing more of this typing which I do now; submitting blog posts. Its as if I didnt feel bad enough already. Its just that sometimes Im lazy. I figured after 5 years, people reading would of maybe noticed by now. Like comeon, Im Noli.
The wedding this weekend was a special one that transcended the disasterous meteorological conditions, one Im glad I did not miss. No regrets and almost a pleasure to fly through 7 time zones to join in (and be fed so well. Im really in the need for some cardio). Adam is one of my few triple threat friends: 1) Charisma: A completely genuine, likable and personable cat, one of those rare peoples that gets along with everyone; that guy that you can't help liking after just the first few moments of meeting him. 2) Intelligence: He's an especially smart dude, one of those types you get jealous of because he makes learning seem easy. And somehow he manages this without exposing an ounce arrogance, simply projecting like any everyday average guy, who struggles like everyone else. 3) Looks: Some say if you were drunk enough, squinted your eyes and tilted your head at the correct angle, then wore rose colored sunglasses, he may seem to look like Bill Guerin. If that actually means anything or could be used to an advantage of some sort.
And then he found and married a girl just as rare and that's quite possibly an improvement on him. She even looks like a celebrity herself... um.. whatshername.. Judging Amy.
Unfortunately Adam dodged a major bullet... no embarrassing stories. Now what's the fun in that? People who know him KNOW how lucky he got by keeping all the embarrassing skeletons in the closet. And lets just say Im sure he tried very hard in order to make this happen, by laying down strict ground rules for wedding announcements and speeches, insisting all public speaking be kept down to under 3 nanoseconds. This is what you do when you've been known to be photographed in speedos. You see, Adam was my roommate when he first started dating Nat. And I have a wealth of stories, just from the first 3 dates alone. It seems so unfair... like what good is a wedding if you cant roast your friend? He completely sidestepped that landmine. Of course he did wear a body painted Flames Bertuzzi jersey to a Colorado Avalanche home game for his stag, but that doesnt count because it never got onto the jumbotron or youtube.
PS... Youd think with the amount I fly I would of done this already by now, but this was the first post Ive ever written on a plane. AC Flight 584, Calgary to New York. It was the peer pressure from Mark and Matty. I hope they are happy.
PPS... Weather over here in NYC and Bangor, ME at the moment? in the high 80s Farenheit! See, told you Calgary sucks.
So my buddy Adam got married to his girlfriend Nathalie this weekend, which really means another rare reunion party with friends who are now increasingly scattered and disconnected around the globe. Two friends of which, Matty and Mark, gave me a bit of a hard time for not doing more of this typing which I do now; submitting blog posts. Its as if I didnt feel bad enough already. Its just that sometimes Im lazy. I figured after 5 years, people reading would of maybe noticed by now. Like comeon, Im Noli.
The wedding this weekend was a special one that transcended the disasterous meteorological conditions, one Im glad I did not miss. No regrets and almost a pleasure to fly through 7 time zones to join in (and be fed so well. Im really in the need for some cardio). Adam is one of my few triple threat friends: 1) Charisma: A completely genuine, likable and personable cat, one of those rare peoples that gets along with everyone; that guy that you can't help liking after just the first few moments of meeting him. 2) Intelligence: He's an especially smart dude, one of those types you get jealous of because he makes learning seem easy. And somehow he manages this without exposing an ounce arrogance, simply projecting like any everyday average guy, who struggles like everyone else. 3) Looks: Some say if you were drunk enough, squinted your eyes and tilted your head at the correct angle, then wore rose colored sunglasses, he may seem to look like Bill Guerin. If that actually means anything or could be used to an advantage of some sort.
And then he found and married a girl just as rare and that's quite possibly an improvement on him. She even looks like a celebrity herself... um.. whatshername.. Judging Amy.
Unfortunately Adam dodged a major bullet... no embarrassing stories. Now what's the fun in that? People who know him KNOW how lucky he got by keeping all the embarrassing skeletons in the closet. And lets just say Im sure he tried very hard in order to make this happen, by laying down strict ground rules for wedding announcements and speeches, insisting all public speaking be kept down to under 3 nanoseconds. This is what you do when you've been known to be photographed in speedos. You see, Adam was my roommate when he first started dating Nat. And I have a wealth of stories, just from the first 3 dates alone. It seems so unfair... like what good is a wedding if you cant roast your friend? He completely sidestepped that landmine. Of course he did wear a body painted Flames Bertuzzi jersey to a Colorado Avalanche home game for his stag, but that doesnt count because it never got onto the jumbotron or youtube.
PS... Youd think with the amount I fly I would of done this already by now, but this was the first post Ive ever written on a plane. AC Flight 584, Calgary to New York. It was the peer pressure from Mark and Matty. I hope they are happy.
PPS... Weather over here in NYC and Bangor, ME at the moment? in the high 80s Farenheit! See, told you Calgary sucks.
Saturday, April 04, 2009
Streaks of Lucky
The next question is: what happens when work benefits you more than what it normally provides by standard: ie laundry money and allowances for eating square meals whilst sheltered? With no direct agenda, it was quite a serendipitous March because of a schedule that allowed me to visit two good friends over the period of two weeks, even though they are both half the world away from myself and from each other. And both trips kinda just fell on my lap. What can you say? Happy Days.
3 Weeks ago I got to visit Eric in Taiwan. Id been meaning to visit Eric for the last two years, ever since he was assigned there by his company. He was due to move back this summer, so I was running out of time. I didnt think it was actually going to happen. A week after getting back from Colombia, I was asked to head to Taiwan for a job. Great right? Only problem was, Eric wasnt going to even be there when I got there. He was on vacation in Japan. HA! It worked out though that he would arrive back the same day I was suppose to finish the Taiwan Job. Staying a bit longer on, we set up a weekend on the tail end.
Thoughts on Taiwan: its more expensive than I thought it would be. Euro prices, at least on the high street store side of things. Another thing that I didnt expect is that it has a the 'feel' of Japanese influence, you can feel it looking around at the street: Note quite completely Chinatown, there is a flavor Tokyo. Speaking of Tokyo, the only associate I had with me was a Japanese guy from our Japanese partner company. Just me and him. Neither of us could speak Chineses, and we had to find food in the evening this way. Like a broken record for everytime I am in Asia, I was useless. I still cant communicate worth beans. Maruno-san however, was prepared: first he could read the odd character, since Japanese characters are based on Chinese characters. As well, he was technologically prepared with an electronic translator. God bless the Japanese and their gadgets. It meant I could eat food! Otherwise Id being frequenting the 7-11s and eating hotdogs and chips all week.
Weekend with Eric was a different story. With no communication barrier, he knew exactly what I was craving to eat, without me even asking. I just followed. Bubble tea: check. Dumplings: check. Thai food: check. Sushi: check. It was amazing. Everything that I had been deprived of in Dundalk was suddenly an avalanche of plenty. And then we went out in Taipei. A surreal experience that is better expressed by one of Eric's quotes that night "Im surprised to see white girls here. Its because there is a wedding. Normally they never show up here. Its because, compared to all these other girls, they all look too fat in comparison"
Using a work trip as a vehicle to spend an awesome weekend with a good friend who lives far away, these are rare. It takes mostly luck and timing. It would be only natural to expect that it would be a while before I could pull that off again. A long while... like say 2 weeks. Happily, two weeks later, I was with Jill in New York, and she had just moved there two weeks earlier. I got the title of first visitor. Im still waiting for the t-shirt and commemorative pin.
I love New York. I especially love New York when you know someone living there: no more extortionate hotel bills. And I especially especially love New York when your friend lives in an awesome apartment in the Upper Westside, 4 blocks away from Central Park, and 2 blocks away from Grays Papaya Hotdogs. Like comeon! And I especially especially especially love New York (thats especially cubed, Blam!) when, by location, you are even more open to random celebrity spotting because of the immediate proximity of these celebrity peoples. Jill and I were walking only 3 blocks away from her apartment on Amsterdam and 75th, on a Sunday morning. Bono was also walking there. Muther-effin Bono, singer of a rock band called U2. Perhaps you've heard of them. See, that doesnt happen in Dundalk. No effin way. South Dublin, maybe, but south Dublin wouldnt also have Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel, Jay Z and Beyonce, Robert Deniro, Harrison Ford, Rihanna. And these are only the heavyweights, it completely discounts the Tina Feys and Liam Neesons and Ben Aflecks and Kelly Ripas. Im a pop culture guy, so I love this shiesse. They can be shopping for groceries in the same crazy insane busy grocery store. You never know. I encourage Jill to create a journal. And itll probably fill fast.
Of course we had good food too, and shopping and all that other good stuff. yaya. Bliss hair and body products. Cupcakes. Cookies. Hotdogs. I love cubed the hotdogs.
3 Weeks ago I got to visit Eric in Taiwan. Id been meaning to visit Eric for the last two years, ever since he was assigned there by his company. He was due to move back this summer, so I was running out of time. I didnt think it was actually going to happen. A week after getting back from Colombia, I was asked to head to Taiwan for a job. Great right? Only problem was, Eric wasnt going to even be there when I got there. He was on vacation in Japan. HA! It worked out though that he would arrive back the same day I was suppose to finish the Taiwan Job. Staying a bit longer on, we set up a weekend on the tail end.
Thoughts on Taiwan: its more expensive than I thought it would be. Euro prices, at least on the high street store side of things. Another thing that I didnt expect is that it has a the 'feel' of Japanese influence, you can feel it looking around at the street: Note quite completely Chinatown, there is a flavor Tokyo. Speaking of Tokyo, the only associate I had with me was a Japanese guy from our Japanese partner company. Just me and him. Neither of us could speak Chineses, and we had to find food in the evening this way. Like a broken record for everytime I am in Asia, I was useless. I still cant communicate worth beans. Maruno-san however, was prepared: first he could read the odd character, since Japanese characters are based on Chinese characters. As well, he was technologically prepared with an electronic translator. God bless the Japanese and their gadgets. It meant I could eat food! Otherwise Id being frequenting the 7-11s and eating hotdogs and chips all week.
Weekend with Eric was a different story. With no communication barrier, he knew exactly what I was craving to eat, without me even asking. I just followed. Bubble tea: check. Dumplings: check. Thai food: check. Sushi: check. It was amazing. Everything that I had been deprived of in Dundalk was suddenly an avalanche of plenty. And then we went out in Taipei. A surreal experience that is better expressed by one of Eric's quotes that night "Im surprised to see white girls here. Its because there is a wedding. Normally they never show up here. Its because, compared to all these other girls, they all look too fat in comparison"
Using a work trip as a vehicle to spend an awesome weekend with a good friend who lives far away, these are rare. It takes mostly luck and timing. It would be only natural to expect that it would be a while before I could pull that off again. A long while... like say 2 weeks. Happily, two weeks later, I was with Jill in New York, and she had just moved there two weeks earlier. I got the title of first visitor. Im still waiting for the t-shirt and commemorative pin.
I love New York. I especially love New York when you know someone living there: no more extortionate hotel bills. And I especially especially love New York when your friend lives in an awesome apartment in the Upper Westside, 4 blocks away from Central Park, and 2 blocks away from Grays Papaya Hotdogs. Like comeon! And I especially especially especially love New York (thats especially cubed, Blam!) when, by location, you are even more open to random celebrity spotting because of the immediate proximity of these celebrity peoples. Jill and I were walking only 3 blocks away from her apartment on Amsterdam and 75th, on a Sunday morning. Bono was also walking there. Muther-effin Bono, singer of a rock band called U2. Perhaps you've heard of them. See, that doesnt happen in Dundalk. No effin way. South Dublin, maybe, but south Dublin wouldnt also have Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel, Jay Z and Beyonce, Robert Deniro, Harrison Ford, Rihanna. And these are only the heavyweights, it completely discounts the Tina Feys and Liam Neesons and Ben Aflecks and Kelly Ripas. Im a pop culture guy, so I love this shiesse. They can be shopping for groceries in the same crazy insane busy grocery store. You never know. I encourage Jill to create a journal. And itll probably fill fast.
Of course we had good food too, and shopping and all that other good stuff. yaya. Bliss hair and body products. Cupcakes. Cookies. Hotdogs. I love cubed the hotdogs.
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