Gastroenteritis

The bane of my existence. Raw Oysters. So good though, with lemon. Or even better, with vinegar and tabasco hot sauce. But they are the reason that ive been curled up in the fetal position for the past two days. Saturday night, after kicking Irish ass with my 132 in bowling, I made the choice of ordering 6 oysters as appetizers at an Italian restaurant. Big mistake. Big. Huge.

I came down with a fever. I got intestinals pains. I got nausea. I got debilitating abdominal cramps so fierce that I cant even stand up straight, and I need to walk around with a old man's posture, bent over at the waist. I got put-puuuu-ruts so bad my ass hurts. Its the worst ever. I even looked it up on the net, googling raw oysters, and found my new friends, the reason for my missing work, bacterium Vibrio parahaemolyticus. And I NEED to get rid of this vibrio parawhatthefawkus before tomorrow because Im heading to the Ireland vs Portugal Soccer friendly in Dublin. Good seats, we are in the front row on the touch line; I could be on TV and this close to Christiano Ronaldo's sweeping and flashing wizardry with the ball. If I miss out on this, or if Im forced to run to the toilets every two seconds, Id be supremely pissed out.

At least I havent eaten in 2 days, except for OJ. This could very well be the best diet ever.

Lesson is... never eat raw oysters. In Ireland. From the Dundalk.