Round mound of rebound

I love Charles Barkley. I piss my pants when I hear what he sometimes says with his blunt -I dont give two shits- savoir faire.

So here I am sharing some sound bites from the past few years: shits so funny yo.

Filipino Proverb of the day: Laughter is the brush that sweeps away the cobwebs of the heart so wear a smile wherever u are but don't smile kung iisa ka lang dahil iba na yun (if you dont understand, tough luck, ask a friendly neighborhood filipino to translate, except Magtanong cuz she doesnt know her shit either)

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• On a TNT telecast a few years ago, Kenny Smith was going on and on about his two championship rings. He said that, in a show of appreciation for their efforts, he gave one ring to his father and the other to his brother because "they were the ones who helped me get them". Charles quipped, "You should have given them to Hakeem."

• On a Vegas golf course...
Tiger: I hear they're going to build a new Super Kmart here.
Barkley: Yeah, where?
Tiger: In the space between your ball and mine.

• Charles Barkley: "I'm so sick of fat people."
Kenny Smith: "Why? You can't live with yourself?"
Barkley: "First of all, they killed Oreos. You know they can't make the Double-Stuff Oreos anymore because fat people can't keep their mouths shut. Now they're killing the McDonald's super-size. Can you believe that? Just because fat people are lazy and don't work out and can't keep they're mouths shut, they have to ruin it for everybody. They'll probably kill ice cream next! Is that my fault they can't stop eating? I'm so sick of these fat people suing these companies. Stop eating!"

• "I don't think there's any doubt. Anybody in their right mind knows I'm the best forward in basketball. Well, the only person comparable to me is Karl Malone, but his body is so different from mine. Even my wife loves his body, and that's the main reason I say I'm the best. With a body like that, he is supposed to be awesome. With a body like mine, I'm supposed to be a couch potato."

• During the '92 Olympics: "Christian (Laettner) is going to be the strongest man in the NBA next year, because all he's been doing all summer is carrying around the luggage for 11 guys."

• During the Bruno's Memorial Classic Pro-Am: "Cat [Reddick, a female soccer player] was fantastic but when you lose to a woman, it means you suck at something. There are two times when you know you suck at sports -- when you can't beat the women and when you can't beat the smart kids."

• Ernie (to the panel): In one word, who's gonna win the Heat/Hornets series?
Michael Redd: Miami
Kenny Smith: Toss-up
Barkley: That's two words, stupid!

• On Kevin Eubanks being a vegetarian: "I don't trust people that don't eat meat. Hey Kevin, you know what the difference between me and you is? When I die, I'll die because I was eating bad food. When you die, they'll say 'wooo that Kevin, he as dead as Charles'"

• At the 1990 game, the Eastern Conference All-Star team was surprised when Charles Barkley raised his hand in a pregame meeting and said he'd like to sketch out a play for the opening tipoff. "This is one we used when Moses [Malone] was in Philadelphia," said Barkley. So Barkley stood, took the chalk, went to the board and drew four players running back to defend their basket. "That sumbitch NEVER won a tip," Barkley said as everyone cracked up.

• On the olympic sport, curling: "I'm still trying to get my grandmother off her old behind and into the Olympics. Why not? She can dust."

• Ernie: What's the Knick's problem right now?
Charles: They no good.

• I know why his name is DMX. Because his real name is Earl. Imagine if his name was Earl the rapper?