Christmas in the Drunk Tank

It took me three Christmas', but I finally came around to it. My next Christmas song. As you may know, I tend to frame Christmas seasons in song. In the past two years Ive talked about my pantheon of xmas tunes: Do They Know its Christmas- Band Aid, Little Drummer Boy- David Bowie and Bing Crosby, Last Christmas- George Michael.

Considering that I live in Ireland though, Ive saved one for this year. Its the infamous Irish Folk band The Pogues and their Fairytale in New York. As far as Christmas goes, an Irish Christmas no less, its great craic. You see in Ireland, during the Christmas season, the one thing that everyone makes sure gets done, every family just gets pist drunk. I tell no lies. Really, in all honesty, getting drunk and going to mass; those are the two pillars of irish family christmas tradition. And the Pogues do a perfect job of capturing it in Song...

And the Pogues, are somewhat of an funny, abnormal story because of their somewhat controversial lead singer. Shane MacGowan is ugly as sin, with his big protruding ears, alley bum hair, pasty irish white feverish skin, hes the closest you can physically come to an Orc in facial construction. And his infamous teeth are the worst you would ever possibly see, teeth that would make an eskimo baby cry. He also insists on only singing drunk, he always sings with a drink in his hand, he always sings with a fag in his other hand, and to be honest, he really cant even sing very good, quite possibly the worst singer ever to make loads of money actually singing professionally. Its like the greatest magic trick of all time, making people think him singing is worth paying money for. But thats the Irish for ya, because he is a musical icon, a symbol of counter culture. And again, point and case, it joins my top list of christmas songs. figure that.

Now Itll be a stretch to figure something out for next year... not much left cept maybe Boney M.

No expansive xmas list this year Im afraid. I was twistedly dissappointed with the success rate of last year, a big Oh For. Ill quickly mention somethings though..

Nintendo Wii. PS3. Anything and Everything Cashmere. Any linens with a thread count above 300. Thick Luxury Terry Cloth Towels and Robe. Victorinox Rolly Briefcase. Dinners at top level restaurants. Canucks Tickets.

Mwahh...