Thwarted in Helsinki...

Santa Claus is Finnish... I never heard that side of the story before, but apparently according to the Finland literature, its true. Its a bit thin in terms of claims, the Dutch and Coca Cola can equally protest this quite convincingly, but at any rate I was in Finland this past week to go find Santa... (and do some work on the side on my way back to Russia again).

Was pissed about how this trip turned out because of 3 reasons though. 1st Reason: Heathrow lost my bags. Again. (third time this stupid airport did it this year!! Ive got to stop flying through London. Its a shambles).

2nd Reason: it Rained the last few days. Not impressed. When you go to Russia and Finland in December, you expect snow. Its like white on rice... I dont want no other rice. And fair enough, it was snowing when we arrived... and it was the good crunchy fluffy stuff, too, that really I miss so much so. Expectations were set Yao Ming height, and there was delivery. But the last two days it rained. Rain... the exact same stuff I get plenty of in Ireland... I didnt come to Nordic Europe for rain.. Ireland has plenty of that already, and especially since Rain mixed with Snow equals slush, which in my books, is just a few steps up from the sky raining feces. See? Global warming y'all, so I blame all you SUV V6 - V8 motherfuckers... (My future Infinity FX45 wont count.. cuz I recycle my canning jars, brush and pee in the shower and use energy saving light bulbs)


Finland in December is suppose be white, and not look like this.

3rd Reason: On Thursday, because of a late return flight to Dublin, we pretty much had all day in Helsinki to see the sights and *ahem* shop. Helsinki is absolutely brilliant for shopping, because of all the funky cool fashion here that I like the best. Not only that, but the scandinavian gadgets and trinkets are bloody deadly. If I had my way, all my house wares, furniture, appliances and whatnot would be from here. So Thursday was my day. Was staying at a modern boutique hotel too right in the middle of the city, with a room that looked like this..

So it was all lined up perfectly... all ducks were in their proverbial rows. No one told us though, that the only free day we had was actually Finish Independence day, a day where apparently nothing goes on and everything closes. EVERYTHING. Made no sense, like it was a waste of a valuable day in Christmas Shopping season. The big event for the day is some gala that everyone in Finland goes home to watch on TV. So rain, and no shopping It felt like a kick in the balls, with steel toe boots.

For revenge I decided to eat some Rudolph for the first time ever, Filet cut, medium rare, with mash potatoes and a funky spicy gravy. Rudolph tasted real good that day, let me tell you.