The Formula

There is one universally accepted scientific formula that encompasses every know thing within the human world. It rules life as we know it and defines all our interactions. Often enough its commonly identified by the basic monnicker "The Formula". No its not E=mc^2. The real defining equation is "divide by 2 plus 7". Perhaps you've heard of it. Ideally, its all the math anyone would ever have to know, ever. You take a dudes age, divide it by two, add seven, and you get the ideal female age range for dating, relationships and intimate companionship (and if you get into specifics, you can put a +/- 2 statistical correction factor). Pretty simple, and solid as a rock. My buddy Eric lives and dies by this formula, he swears by it. I mention it now because I have fallen in love yet again, and its all good, the formula says so. Her name is Logan Tom, star outsider hitter for the USA Womens Indoor Volleyball team. Now she use to have medium-to-long hair... like when she played as a 19 year old in the Sydney Olympics and throughout her collegiate play at Stanford. However for these Athens Olympics, she has sported a new hairdo, a short cropped one, and Im jelly beans. You see, I have a weakness for short hair, and this is where my pal Martin and I strongly disagree, he's a long flowing locks kinda dude. Well, whatever. So as you can tell, despite my anti-American tendancies on almost everything (to spite mostly), I was distraught when the USA Womens Volleyball team lost to the Russians a couple of days ago. Logan did her best though, with something like 5000 kills. Poor Logan (And how cool of a name is that? Logan Tom? It defines awesomeness)

Now one more comment: if I were the president of NBC Sports, the network that now has Arena Football as its only major contract (how pathetic is that?), I wouldnt skip a beat in adding Volleyball and Beach Volleyball to the broadcast schedule. Its a fast game, and the Olympics have proven, an extremely exciting and TV friendly game. Its a popular game with widespread participation on recreational levels, and finally, you got your cant lose moneymaker in hot tall athletic girls jumping around, trying to spike a leather ball into the opponents face, while wearing short-shorts. And for the female viewers, you get hot athletic guys jumping around, trying to spike a leather ball into the opponents face. And in the beach version, the girls do it in sports bras and bikinis. How can you go wrong? You might as well print your own money. Other good sports, also for possible consideration? Badminton and Ping Pong.. but I digress.

Oh by the way, I just heard Eric is off the market, and for some reason, apparently the formula was not used. I tell ya, I leave Vancouver and Vancouver goes bizarro on me, up is down, left is right, rain turns into sunshine...